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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25861192">Cell Vs. Timebreaker Yamcha: IMPOSSIBLE!!!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFictionerForLife1994/pseuds/FanFictionerForLife1994'>FanFictionerForLife1994</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Comedy, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Drama, Inspired By Cell Vs., Parody, Pro Yamcha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:14:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,257</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25861192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFictionerForLife1994/pseuds/FanFictionerForLife1994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After trying his luck three times in the past against Cell, Yamcha would look to redeem himself and best the Bio-Android or die trying. Which unfortunately everyone is expecting. Will he finally get revenge? Or will more of the same continue for the poor former bandit? Based on DevilArtemis's Cell Vs. Series on YouTube.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cell Vs. Timebreaker Yamcha: IMPOSSIBLE!!!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CELL GAMES ARENA. </p><p> </p><p>Cell and Kermit The Frog stood in the middle of the arena ring, and this time, a huge crowd had been formed in the form of thousands.</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: Good thing we had the arena installed with seats.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Yes. Now every one of these assholes can stop complaining about standing!</p><p> </p><p>Crowd: WE CAN HERE YOU!</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Yeah!? AND I CAN DESTROY YOU AND THIS PLANET RIGHT NOW!</p><p> </p><p>The crowd shuts up and all is heard is cricket noises.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: That's what I thought bitches.</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: Yeah, we really had to clean up the place last time with your last battle. And that was only fucking filler.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Well, yeah. Good thing he's not here anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Goku, Vegeta, and the rest of the Z Gang had all arrived to enjoy the fight, or whatever this could turn into. Over countless times, Cell has faced the most random of opponents and has either won, lost, or had a draw, or even some other random shenanigans happen. But now because if his budget increase thanks to his good friend, DevilArtemis, he finally was able to get his arena some seats for people to sit in rather than stand because everyone blew up his Cellphone and bitched and complained.</p><p> </p><p>Goku: Why are we here again?</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: To see some poor sap get his ass kicked thinking he has any chance whatsoever.</p><p> </p><p>Goku: So basically a Yamcha.</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta and Bulma: Yep.</p><p> </p><p>Bulma: That idiot has tried three times and as usual, he thinks he has a chance, only for reality to punch him in the face. Repeatedly.</p><p> </p><p>Krillin: I'm wondering who Cell will face now. I'm surprised he invited all of us here.</p><p> </p><p>Eighteen: Probably for us to laugh at the soon victim's expense.</p><p> </p><p>Goku: Like a Yamcha?</p><p> </p><p>Chi-Chi: Exactly.</p><p> </p><p>Master Roshi: Well, at least he's generous in inviting us.</p><p> </p><p>Gohan: Though, I'm confused about one thing. Why are they here too?</p><p> </p><p>Gohan points across ahead from the other stands and see's Frieza and the other past villains they've dealt with before.</p><p> </p><p>Goku: Just be thrilled they're not causing any trouble.<br/>///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////</p><p> </p><p>The sound of music starts playing. It was the usual intro music that would introduce Cell Vs. show opening which got everyone's attention. </p><p> </p><p>Tournament Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen-</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Yeah, uh listen, pal. Can we hurry it up please, I've got extremely hot anime waifus to impregnate.</p><p> </p><p>Tournament Announcer: Not sure how that's even possible...?</p><p> </p><p>Cell: What the fuck did you say?</p><p> </p><p>Tournament Announcer: ANYWAY. Ladies and gentlemen, and waifus...you all know and love, and hate, and envy him. He is Perfection! Mr. Perfect Cell!</p><p> </p><p>Some of the crowd cheers Cell, some of them jeer, it was really in between.</p><p> </p><p>Tournament Announcer: And in this-</p><p> </p><p>The announcer looks on the other side across the ring and looks like he's about to laugh his ass off. Cell and Kermit walk up to the announcer.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Uh, what's up with you?</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: That's what.</p><p> </p><p>Kermit points at the other side and everyone sees none other than...Yamcha. AGAIN.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: (TRIGGERED) OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDD!</p><p> </p><p>Cuts to commercial break. <br/>///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////</p><p> </p><p>Cells laugh though was even more louder because three times has Yamcha tried fighting Cell and he was gonna try his pathetic luck again? Did this guy not have the common capacity to understand that no matter what he did, nothing would change his fate? Or was this Yamcha's way of saying he finally wants to die for good this time? </p><p> </p><p>Cell: YAMCHA! FOR THE LOVE ALL THINGS, SERIOUSLY!? WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO LEARN!? Or is it you want to die?</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: OR HAVE YOU FINALLY ACCEPTED THAT YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT ANYMORE?</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta then stands up.</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: (Mocking Yamcha's voice): Hey guys! It's me, Yamcha! Remember me!? I'm not relevant! Or Bulma! Wolf Fang Dick! </p><p> </p><p>Everyone laughed even louder. But none more then Bulma who thought that was an "accurate description of her ex-boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Okay, Yamcha. Pal, listen here. Seriously, the first two times I laughed at you. The last time, even with the Ultra Instinct ability that you disgraced.</p><p> </p><p>Goku: VERY BADLY! THANKS, A LOT, YAMCHA YOU PATHETIC ASSHOLE!</p><p> </p><p>Cell: My point exactly. I don't know if that Ultra Instinct Saibaman exploding you made your completely and utterly retarded...</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: That isn't that difficult to see.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: But seriously, why do this to yourself? You know, you may not buy this at all, but we are trying to help you by getting you to realize that your days of being "cool", if you ever were, ended the very day a little green cabbage monster killed all of your development. We're just helping you realize it.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...</p><p> </p><p>Cell: I mean, what is it that drives you? Is it stupidity? Is it to find meaning in your worthless existence? Purpose? Love maybe? Well, we all know how that turned out for ya because Bulma cucked you so bad for Vegeta over there that you might as well consider either two options. Full vasectomy, or simply put, playing for the other team.</p><p> </p><p>Zarbon: I consider the second option. OHHH!</p><p> </p><p>Frieza: Oh my God, Zarbon, stop touching your nipples.</p><p> </p><p>Bulma: Considering that Yamcha also cheated on me! If the idiot had kept it in his pants, then maybe he wouldn't be such a pansy!</p><p> </p><p>Piccolo: DAMN!</p><p> </p><p>Seventeen: No coming back from that one...</p><p> </p><p>Eighteen: Nope.</p><p> </p><p>Sixteen: No possible recovery.</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: You know, I'm pretty sure he gets all that from his floating talking cat.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: I mean come on Yamcha, let's be real. You're only making it ever worse for yourself. There's no chance for you even coming close to being relevant anymore. You're just there to be the filler comedic pathetic punching bag! Even you have to realize that! Even you have to come to grips with the fact that you'll be nothing more than what you are! It's just a formality! Fate! Some people are just meant to suck in life! That's all you can do is just SUCK!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha hasn't spoken since entered the ring. His expression looks all serious, but the only thing that was hidden was his eyes that were shadowed over.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: You can try and be all tough and intimidating all you want because it still won't mean a damn thing! I really want to figure out something! Just why!? Why do you bother wasting your time!? Why do you even try!? Why risk more embarrassment for yourself!?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Why don't you just give up!? Why don't you just quit!? WHY YAMCHA? WHY DO YOU FUCKING PERSIST!?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...</p><p> </p><p>The others either look on with pity or with glee. Goku, Chi-Chi, Gohan, Goten, Krillin, Tien, Chiaotzu, Master Roshi and Yajirobe are all upset, thinking that Yamcha is for sure dead meat this time. Vegeta, Bulma, Trunks, and Videl, on the other hand, have a rather sadistic glee in their faces as they watch this, actually hoping he'll die this time around. Piccolo, Androids Seventeen and Eighteen, Majin Buu, even Beerus and Whis are there... and they don't seem to care what happens next. </p><p> </p><p>Goku: I'm telling you, he's gonna get slaughtered again...</p><p> </p><p>Chi-Chi: Mmf...</p><p> </p><p>Gohan: I feel sorry for him. When will he understand he's outmatched by guys like Cell?</p><p> </p><p>Goten: Aren't all humans no match for Cell?</p><p> </p><p>Krillin: We're right here, you know!</p><p> </p><p>Tien: The man seems to never let any defeat hamper him. He just doesn't know when to sit down and accept defeat.</p><p> </p><p>Chiaotzu: This'll be the fourth time he's died if this is the case... first time with the Saibamen, the second time with Super Buu...</p><p> </p><p>Master Roshi: And the third time with that Ultra Instinct Saibamen. Honestly, how does that exist?</p><p> </p><p>Yajirobe: Don't know, don't care. I just think someone needs to save Yamcha's ass before he gets stomped into dust.</p><p> </p><p>Piccolo sighs, not willing to speak on the inevitable slaughter to Yamcha. </p><p> </p><p>Krillin: Gohan, can't you just go in there and stop him from getting killed?</p><p> </p><p>Gohan: Well, I would, but...</p><p> </p><p>Videl: Forget him. He's not worth it. Just let him die, we'll be happier without his dead weight!</p><p> </p><p>Trunks: Anyone who hurt my mom deserves it! Kick his ass, Cell!</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta and Bulma: Hurry up and kill him already!</p><p> </p><p>Seventeen: Why are we even here?</p><p> </p><p>Eighteen: I don't know. I could be making money right now, but I'm not...</p><p> </p><p>Majin Buu: Buu hungry... when this end? Buu want some candy!</p><p> </p><p>Beerus: Does that repugnant blob ever shut up about food?</p><p> </p><p>Whis: With all due respect, Lord Beerus, your appetite rivals that of his own...</p><p> </p><p>Beerus: That didn't require a response!</p><p> </p><p>Back with Yamcha and Cell in the ring, Everyone continued to make remarks at the former bandit's expense, and he could hear them. He'd been hearing these things for all of his life. But, this would be his chance to end all of the slander and the pathetic tired jokes. Now, the ball is in his court.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...So, you wanna hurt me just like that?</p><p> </p><p>Everyone's surprised Yamcha spoke. And so...menacing...</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...I get it. I'm an easy target. I've never denied it. I've always been reminded of the fact that I've been Toriyama's and Dragon Ball's go-to punching bag since DBZ. Which unfortunately spawned countless memes, and also gave birth to the ever so unoriginal Dragon Ball Z Abridged. And the countless jokes made about me at my expense.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Ah, you're finally-</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: And I've been labeled just about every little insult that anyone can possibly imagine. Every time I step up to the plate, with nothing but good intentions in trying to better myself and my skills, I know for the very hurtful fact, that I'll be considered as the joke. Nothing but a punchline.</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: Uh, yeah. Tell us something we don't know dumbass.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Then why persist, weakling?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Well, a famous Clown Prince Of Crime once said, the best kind of punchline...</p><p> </p><p>Everyone: ...?</p><p> </p><p>Cell:?</p><p> </p><p>Kermit:?</p><p> </p><p>Z Fighters:?</p><p> </p><p>Villains:?</p><p> </p><p>Random characters and past opponents Cell has fought:?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...IS THE ONE YOU DON'T SEE COMING!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, Yamcha started arching in pain, holding his head and body which were all in pain, the aura around him, and his ki suddenly sparked higher and higher, way higher than ever before! Everyone was in shock!</p><p> </p><p>Cell: W-What is this!? Kermit? Kermit, is this a joke?</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: Uh, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to. I'm pretty sure DA is just giving Yamcha false hope, that's all!</p><p> </p><p>Goku: Guys!? What's going on!?</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: I don't know Kakarot, but I don't like it!</p><p> </p><p>Bulma: Is Yamcha actually trying to get stronger!? He'll die by trying to even do that!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha then chuckles, getting everyone even more and confused in a more fearful way.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: You see, Cell, Kermit, you also forgot one thing.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Oh!? And what's that!?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...You're not on YouTube.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: !?</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: !?</p><p> </p><p>Everyone: !?</p><p> </p><p>This new information really got everyone, especially Cell and Kermit bewildered. Just what the hell was Yamcha talking about? </p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: In other words, this isn't the DevilArtemis Universe. You're not in control. The reason you were was because of your creator! But all of this that's happening right now? It's all been a story this entire time! It's being written! And you wanna know who's writing it?</p><p> </p><p>Cell: W-W...Who? Who's writing this!?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha gives a light laugh, that laugh of his putting everyone on edge at all of this new information. It only afterward does their reactions become more...lively. </p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...A certified die hard Yamcha Fan.</p><p> </p><p>And as guessed, the silence and shock were very deafening.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: WHAT?!?</p><p> </p><p>Z Fighters: WHAT?!?</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: WHAT!? YOU HAVE THOSE!?</p><p> </p><p>Majin Buu: Uh... Buu not understand?</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: Idiot.</p><p> </p><p>Bulma: OK, what the fuck is going on here?!?</p><p> </p><p>Trunks: What? How's he getting stronger, though?!?</p><p> </p><p>Whis: Breaking the 4th Wall by announcing that this is some story? Who is scribbling down the words, I wonder? Zen-Oh?</p><p> </p><p>Beerus: I could care less about who. What matters is why.</p><p> </p><p>Gohan: Hey... it's weird, but... I think now, Yamcha can win. I mean, it's about time. I've been put through the ringer by my writer, too, to be honest...</p><p> </p><p>Krillin: Gohan, you're preaching to the choir.</p><p> </p><p>Tien: Would it be weird if we started cheering for Yamcha?</p><p> </p><p>Chiaotzu: A little bit, but he deserves it!</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: THE HELL HE DOES! WHAT ABOUT ME KILLING A MAJOR VILLAIN SOMEDAY?!?</p><p> </p><p>Everyone except for Bulma, Trunks, Whis, and Beerus glares at Vegeta and screams: NOBODY CARES, SHUT UP!</p><p> </p><p>All Vegeta could do was make sour grumblings and complain like a complete fucking man-baby. While Vegeta still tries to process this "crisis" of Yamcha doing something insane, the bystanders still talk among themselves.</p><p> </p><p>Master Roshi: I always believed that Yamcha never had an actual chance to show his full potential because fate was cruel to him. Maybe it's just been building up until now that he's finally allowed a chance to go all out and win?</p><p> </p><p>Chi-Chi: He used to be awesome before the Saiyans show up, so you could say it's a comeback.</p><p> </p><p>Goten: I think he deserves it. Go, Mister Yamcha!</p><p> </p><p>Trunks: Why would you cheer for that jerk?</p><p> </p><p>Goten: He's not a jerk! Go, Yamcha!</p><p> </p><p>Back inside the ring with Yamcha and Cell, everyone still couldn't believe the very fact that Yamcha was unleashing this huge power out of nowhere! Over the years, people have deemed it a certain impossibility that he would ever get stronger but that theory was being proven wrong. Not only was he getting stronger, but it escalated even further, so much that Yamcha himself started to flash colors a bit. Bright and yet dark variations of grey, purple, and white. And then...Yamcha gives out a scream.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>And then...within one second, in that moment and a burst of energy, Yamcha's aura not only sparked giving an overwhelming vibe, but it changed Yamcha's being completely, all of the various colors of grey, purple, and white consuming his entire frame, and beside the color, he had on his forehead, what was not indeed mistaken. It was the symbol of the Time Breaker. As Yamcha slowly opened his eyes which were now glowing the same colors on his body, his pupils look damn near non-existent. And even more terrifying, his smile. His smile wasn't of confidence or cockiness, it was one of being insane and blood-hungry yet with a sick glee.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone gives out a massive gasp, not believing or seeing who, or what in front of them was Yamcha.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Hahahahahahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!</p><p> </p><p>Cell: W-WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THAT!?</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: SON OF A BITCH, IF THERE IS A WRITER CELL, THEN HE'S GIVEN YAMCHA...THE FUCKING XENOVERSE 2 SUPERVILLAIN FORM! DAMN YOU TOWA!!</p><p> </p><p>On the sidelines, Towa is sitting on her wand, which is floating. Next to her is Mira, arms crossed. Towa is grinning from ear to ear.</p><p> </p><p>Towa: Ahh... so you figured it out? Was it hard for you?</p><p> </p><p>Mira: Attempt to interfere with this, amphibian, and you will be eliminated.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: OH MY GOD! YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!</p><p> </p><p>Everyone now, except Towa, Mira, Beerus, and Whis look at Yamcha in fear. And that was really the fucking kick in the head. Fear and Yamcha were words many thought would never co-exist. </p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Let me show you my new power! COME ON! I'LL TAKE YOU CELL! HELL, I'LL TAKE EVERY ONE OF YOU ALL ON!!</p><p> </p><p>The majority of the Z Fighters respectfully decline. Except for...you guessed it. FUCKING. VEGETA. This idiot stands up thinking he all hard and shit and goes through his usual prideful bullshit. </p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: Alright, fine! You want to pretend to be tough, then fine! And you, you're next once you're running your stupid experiment!</p><p> </p><p>He points at Towa and Mira standing on the sidelines. Towa just grins and Mira just scoffs at Vegeta, knowing the Saiyan Prince to be a massive drama queen bitch. </p><p> </p><p>Towa: How rude...I believe that scientists have the right to perform experiments.</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta starts marching up to the empowered Yamcha. The pathetic Saiyan couldn't stand seeing anyone that's human, let alone Yamcha of all people being powerful because, in Vegeta's eyes, it didn't fit the "Pecking Order" or some bullshit rule they try shoving at other people to keep them down. But not Yamcha. He wasn't having it. And he didn't give a FUCK about Vegeta's pissed off attitude. Now it was the former bandit's turn to be angry which he had the right to be after years of being underestimated. Well, never the fuck again. And then as Vegeta however this time starts marching, he then flies full speed ahead at Yamcha.</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: This is for you thinking that you're badass! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!</p><p> </p><p>But Yamcha in his Timebreaker form just dodges left and right, over and over again, leaving Vegeta winded early!</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: TO HELL WITH THIS! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta gets even more pissed off, charges up, and goes Super Saiyan Blue.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...You think that form is gonna change anything asshole?</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: YOU DON'T THINK SO, HAVE A TASTE OF THIS! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR FEEL-GOOD MOMENT! FINAL FLASH!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta fires ahead...</p><p> </p><p>And Yamcha...</p><p> </p><p>Just...</p><p> </p><p>WALKS THROUGH THE ENTIRE BEAM ATTACK!!!</p><p> </p><p>Everyone: WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha gives an evil smirk. A smirk that can only say "Fuck You" to Vegeta and his fan base. And he was loving every minute of it.</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: No! NO! NOO! I-IMPOSSIBLE!!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Is that all you got..."Prince Of No One?"</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta grew even more pissed! He then charges at him looking to end Yamcha.</p><p> </p><p>Vegeta: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>But much like Hercule when he tried against Cell...</p><p> </p><p>BAM!!!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha flicks him so hard that Vegeta's Super Saiyan Blue form was out before he could really use it, and was in the air so high behind Yamcha, Vegeta landed exactly how Hercule landed while screaming like a bitch.</p><p> </p><p>BOOM!!!</p><p> </p><p>Everyone had the legendary WTF look on their faces. Yamcha just treated Vegeta like nothing. Like fodder. Complete filler trash Vegeta has just been labeled as. </p><p> </p><p>Hercule: This seems very familiar...</p><p> </p><p>Videl: DAD! When'd you get here?</p><p> </p><p>Hercule: I, uh... just drove up...</p><p> </p><p>Videl: And...let me guess, you heard Cell was back?</p><p> </p><p>Hercule: Look, I didn't wanna go fight that crazy bug man again, but everyone thinks I killed Cell...</p><p> </p><p>Videl: Because you lied to everyone...</p><p> </p><p>Hercule: I'm sorry, I just...</p><p> </p><p>Videl: Never mind, let's just shut up and see where this goes...</p><p> </p><p>Majin Buu: Hercule got candy?</p><p> </p><p>Hercule: Uh? Oh, sure, Buu... uh, here ya go...</p><p> </p><p>He pulls a huge bar of chocolate from his Gi to give to the Djinn. Buu happily takes it. The others, meanwhile, are stunned by how Yamcha just humiliated Vegeta.</p><p> </p><p>Goku: Ahem...</p><p> </p><p>Chi-Chi: What did we just see...?</p><p> </p><p>Gohan: I think we just saw Yamcha beat Vegeta...</p><p> </p><p>Trunks: That big jerk! He cheated just like he did on my mom!</p><p> </p><p>Goten: He won fair and square! Go, Yamcha!</p><p> </p><p>Krillin and Chiaotzu are laughing their asses off at Vegeta's expense. Tien manages an amused smile. Bulma, meanwhile... well, we all know how much she likes bad boys...</p><p> </p><p>Bulma: I... forgot how Yamcha could... be like that...</p><p> </p><p>The immoral slut that she is, Bulma instantly forgets her husband and son and feels inclined to go walk over to Yamcha, who is now facing Cell.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Now... I think what I'm gonna do next is make sure you go to Hell.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Now... now, hold on, let's not rush into things...</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: But first I think I'll let your gay alien friend and the stupid frog go first.</p><p> </p><p>On the sidelines, Towa chuckles. She really loves how her experiment is coming together. She may even be generous to let Yamcha keep the power she's given him. Well, kind of brainwashed his mind but given him nonetheless.</p><p> </p><p>Towa: I am such a mastermind, am I not, Mira? Now the fan base will never see Yamcha as a weakling again. And look... his ex is already attracted back to him. I wonder how this will alter history?</p><p> </p><p>Mira: Perhaps dire ramifications for the future... or it could result in a more desirable direction.</p><p> </p><p>Towa: Regardless, it will be interesting to see. Master Demigra would have been proud...<br/>///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////</p><p> </p><p>Back to Yamcha and Cell, everyone, especially Kermit, and no doubt somewhere, DevilArtemis is very nervous and scared shitless. </p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Now Cell, if you thought losing to a child was bad, losing to me, the one who's mental health you questioned in our third encounter, is about to be a LOT. FUCKING. WORSE. I'm gonna send you to a Hell so unfathomable, that you'll never recover. And you're gonna be so irrelevant once again faster than you can say Raditz and Nappa.</p><p> </p><p>Raditz and Nappa: HEY!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!</p><p> </p><p>Raditz and Nappa: ...Yes Lord...</p><p> </p><p>Goku: ...Wow.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Hell, I'm gonna make you're Hell so unbearable, that you'll wish that you were back in the one in GT in your love nest with Frieza!</p><p> </p><p>Frieza: WHAT!?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: And you'll never be in Super! Which means you'll never get your revenge on Gohan! You see Cell!? I can ruin and take away dreams too! And that's really the only you have, isn't it!? ISN'T IT!?!?</p><p> </p><p>Cell was now panicking! He hasn't panicked this much since Gohan!</p><p> </p><p>Kermit: Uh...Cell, normally I'd have your back...but you're on your own! Bye!</p><p> </p><p>Kermit runs away like a little cunt bag, running back possibly to the other Muppets.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Kermit! Wait! KERMIT!</p><p> </p><p>He then turns around to only look at Yamcha's intense evil glare. Cell laughs nervously!</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Yamcha! Buddy! Pal! Hey, come on, you had a long busy day! All this excitement, all this bent up frustration and- SAIBAMAN!!! SAIBAMAN HELP!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, a Saibaman leaps out of nowhere and latches onto Yamcha's chest!</p><p> </p><p>Everyone except Trunks, Videl, Beerus, and Whis: OH NO!</p><p> </p><p>Trunks: Oh, cool! I'm gonna get to see that pose Dad talks so much about!</p><p> </p><p>Videl: Finally... and I was suddenly beginning to think after all this, everyone would start bashing me after Yamcha kills Cell because I never beat anyone...</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha just stares at the Saibaman with disdain. The very thing that had been the bane of his existence and the very one besides Vegeta and Nappa that caused his downward spiral in the canon Dragon Ball.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Fine. Just try it.</p><p> </p><p>The Saibaman looks at Yamcha confused.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Well!? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!? DO IT!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>The Saibaman does, exploding with the force of a grenade! The Z Fighters except for Trunks and Videl groan.</p><p> </p><p>Gohan: Dammit... and I was hoping Yamcha would actually win...</p><p> </p><p>Krillin: Wait! Look!</p><p> </p><p>Everyone: HUH?!?</p><p> </p><p>The smoke clears... and Yamcha's still standing there. As if nothing happened. So basically, and rightfully so, The Saibaman killed itself for nothing. </p><p> </p><p>Cell: ...OH, FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Sorry, Cell. The same trick doesn't work twice.</p><p> </p><p>The majority of the Z Fighters cheer! Except for Trunks and Videl.</p><p> </p><p>Trunks: LAME!</p><p> </p><p>Videl: OH, NO! Now everyone's gonna bash me about being weak!</p><p> </p><p>Slutty Capsule Corp heiress is still staring at Yamcha surviving all of this and getting wet. And Vegeta's still out cold, in case anyone wondered.</p><p> </p><p>Back to Towa and Mira. Towa was enjoying her handiwork while Mira stared at Vegeta with intent.</p><p> </p><p>Mira: Should we steal Vegeta's energy while he lays defeated?</p><p> </p><p>Towa: Yes, Mira, but patience. We will wait until Yamcha has achieved relevance, and then we will leave. OK?</p><p> </p><p>Mira: Of course.</p><p> </p><p>Towa: Such a delicious outcome. I wonder how the timeline will change now that Yamcha is set to become all-powerful...</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: So, Cell...any last words before I send you to Hell, with the all-mighty power of Towa she a bestowed upon me?</p><p> </p><p>Cell: No. NO! NOOOO!!! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!!! NOT NOW! NOT FROM YOU! EVER!!!!! I'M PERFECT!!!! I'M THE STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Frieza: Oh my God, he's having a Namek moment!</p><p> </p><p>Zarbon: I know my Lord! Ohhhh! My nipples are panicking as well!</p><p> </p><p>Cell: I'M GONNA DESTROY YOU, YOU PATHETIC IRRELEVANT WHELP!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Cell powers up his Kamehameha like before, looking to eradicate Yamcha, AND THE SOLAR SYSTEM!</p><p> </p><p>Everyone: WHAT!?</p><p> </p><p>Cell: YOU YAMCHA AND THE EARTH WILL BE DESTROYED!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Goku: EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!</p><p> </p><p>Gohan: RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Everyone gets up! Some are trying to run and scramble, and some are just still standing there.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: TOO LATE! HERE IT COMES YAMCHA!!! KA....ME....HA...ME...</p><p> </p><p>SMACK!!!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha had stopped Cell from doing the Solar Kamehameha...by bitch slapping him with the back of his hand. And Cell's face says it all. And so did everyone else's. Yamcha's face hadn't changed.</p><p> </p><p>Cell: !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?</p><p> </p><p>Everyone: !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...Are you done?</p><p> </p><p>Cell just falls on his knees...</p><p> </p><p>Cell: No...this can't be...how!? There are no Yamcha fans! HOW!?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: ...Never underestimate the underrated, Cell. And you'd be surprised how many loyal followers I have, and how I would die for them.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha points his palm straight close to Cell's face. Cell just couldn't take it. He lost...to Yamcha. On this day...</p><p> </p><p>Cell: Do it...Just...just end my life...</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Hey Cell?</p><p> </p><p>Cell: ...Yes...?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha grins at Cell.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: What's my name?</p><p> </p><p>Cell: ...it's Yamch-</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Nah. I need the full title. WHAT'S. MY. NAME?</p><p> </p><p>Cell: IT'S--!</p><p> </p><p>He flinches, but given how he lost to Yamcha... what does he have to lose, anyway?</p><p> </p><p>Cell: It's... Lord Yamcha.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: DAMN RIGHT.</p><p> </p><p>Then he raises his palm back up. He charges his Time Breaker power to unimaginable heights all while giving Cell a glare and a grin, just totally disrespecting the self-proclaimed Perfect Being.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: When you get to Hell, tell Doctor Gero I said...</p><p> </p><p>Everyone: ...???</p><p> </p><p>Cell: ...???</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: STAY IRRELEVANT. </p><p> </p><p>BOOM!!!</p><p> </p><p>With a point-blank Ki blast, Yamcha obliterates Cell before he even has a chance to beg for his life. When the smoke clears, Cell's arena has been reduced to a giant crater. The only thing that hasn't been touched is the stand where Frieza, Zarbon, Raditz, and Nappa are.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Missed a spot.</p><p> </p><p>Zarbon: Oh dear...</p><p> </p><p>Raditz: Now, wait a second!</p><p> </p><p>Nappa: Wait, Yamcha! Uh, listen the Saibaman was all Vegeta's idea!</p><p> </p><p>Frieza: Wait! STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: A service for the universe. AND ME.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha then quickly fired another shot in their direction this time. The hostile aliens scream and try to run, but just like before...</p><p> </p><p>BOOM!!!</p><p> </p><p>Obliterated. Wiped from the face of the Earth. From afar, Towa and Mira observe their job well done.</p><p> </p><p>Towa: Well... I think our work here is done, Mira.</p><p> </p><p>Mira: Indeed. Shall this Yamcha be kept as a thrall, or will we let him go?</p><p> </p><p>Towa: Oh, pure, sweet Yamcha is too good for that. All this time, his most negative traits have been brought out by his Timebreaker form. When I release him, he will return to his normal, nice-guy self. But he'll be left with the power we gave him. He's as strong as Goku at Ultra Instinct level now, you see...</p><p> </p><p>Mira: Now may we take Vegeta's energy?</p><p> </p><p>Towa: Ah. Yes, of course...</p><p> </p><p>Towa and Mira fly over to the unconscious Vegeta, noting how he's in the same "pose" on the ground Yamcha was when he had that "unlucky incident."</p><p> </p><p>Towa: This will not kill you... it will simply hurt. A lot.</p><p> </p><p>And she jabs her wand into Vegeta's arm. While Towa and Mira take Vegeta's power, Yamcha stands in the ring, feeling victorious as he should be. And that's when he senses Bulma near him.</p><p> </p><p>Bulma: Y-Yamcha! My God! I had no idea you had this in you! The way you wrecked Cell just like that. </p><p> </p><p>She bites her lip trying to get Yamcha swooned that he's finally won her back. Oh, how wrong she was.</p><p> </p><p>Bulma: You've changed my opinion about you. So uh, how about say, you and I finally "patch things up?"</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha still in his Timebreaker form looks at Bulma in a very menacing glare which scares her to near death!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Bitch, I wouldn't get back with you even I was near at death. Even if I was blind, DESPERATE, DAMN NEAR BRITTLE AND DOWNRIGHT IN THE CRATER AGAIN YOU'D BE THE LAST FUCKING CUNT I EVER WANNA FUCK YOU SEX DUMPSTER! And furthermore, as the saying goes, If she breathes...SHE IS A THOOOOOTTTTTTTTT!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha screamed this in her face, becoming big and making her shrink down in size, making her feel completely inadequate. And the bitch deserved every verbal shredding of her ex she did wrong. </p><p> </p><p>Towa and Mira see Yamcha giving the Capsule Corp heir an earful. Towa is very amused. </p><p> </p><p>Towa: Oh, right... we can't leave him in that state. We have to let him return to his normal self, otherwise, he might end up ruining everything.</p><p> </p><p>Mira: Humph.</p><p> </p><p>Towa waves his wand, and suddenly, Yamcha's aura disappears. Hilariously, he falls flat on his face, then gets back up, looking confused as all heck.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Huh? Uh, where am... what's this?!?</p><p> </p><p>Towa: Our work here is complete. Toodles.</p><p> </p><p>And with that, Towa and Mira use their "Kai Kai" ability to vanish off to another place.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Wait... why do I feel so strong?</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, all the Z Fighters minus Bulma, Trunks, and Videl rush over and crowd Yamcha with enthusiastic cheers!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: What the--?!? Guys?!? Hey! What's... going on?</p><p> </p><p>Goku: Yamcha, I've never seen you so strong!</p><p> </p><p>Gohan: You killed Cell! It was amazing!</p><p> </p><p>Goten: You even beat up Trunks' dad!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: I what?!?</p><p> </p><p>Then he remembers how strong he feels.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Was it the training I did?</p><p> </p><p>Krillin: All we know is that you kicked ass! We didn't know you had it in you!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Well, I... heh heh!</p><p> </p><p>While everyone is celebrating Yamcha's triumph who was now all bashful from the praise he wanted so long and damn well deserved, Bulma is crying her eyes out from Yamcha yelling at her a minute ago. Videl is also really upset, and Trunks is throwing a tantrum at his mom.</p><p> </p><p>Trunks: MOM, WHY WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH HIM?!? IS DAD NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!? YOU SUCK!</p><p> </p><p>Bulma: I don't know what came over me!</p><p> </p><p>Videl: Now everyone's gonna bash me for always losing!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha is still getting praise from his friends. He chuckles and scratches his head in embarrassment from all the praise and compliments he was receiving. And he truly deserved it after all he's been through.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Aww come on guys! It was nothing.</p><p> </p><p>???: YAMCHA!</p><p> </p><p>Everyone: Huh?</p><p> </p><p>Coming towards Yamcha and everyone was surprisingly Maron! Krillin's ex-girlfriend from a long time ago. She still looks good, then again she always did.</p><p> </p><p>Krillin: Maron!?</p><p> </p><p>Goku: Who's she?</p><p> </p><p>Gohan: Haven't seen her in a long time. Krillin, wasn't she your girlfriend?</p><p> </p><p>Maron runs up to Yamcha, jumping in his arms. Showing him with kisses on his face, and again he feels proudly embarrassed but in a good way. Never had he gotten this much praise in public before.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Whoa! Maron, what are you doing here?</p><p> </p><p>Maron: I saw everything! You were so sexy getting rid of that creep like that! Badass!</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha chuckles and laughs nervously again.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Guys, this too much praising might give me a big head.</p><p> </p><p>Maron: Speaking of big head...</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Huh?</p><p> </p><p>Maron: Whatever that power was, do you still have it? So we can pick up where we left off? And for hours and hours? </p><p> </p><p>Maron arches her eyebrows in a seductive manner and Yamcha looks at the screen breaking the fourth wall once again, and in a flash, goes Timebreaker mode again...smiling and grinning.</p><p> </p><p>Yamcha: Thank you my loyal Yamcha fans.</p><p> </p><p>THE END.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, this was a very fun one-shot to do. As always, I do what I can do keep Yamcha's name in a good light. Even if people don't like a certain way of how I do it like in the last one-shot I did. Understandable, but it's really to keep his name from being bashed. My excuse? To match all the bullshit that he's been receiving in almost EVERY. SINGLE. STORY. ESPECIALLY in those God-forsaken Vegeta/Bulma stories. Now, be that as it may, I'm not all about bashing characters. I don't like it myself. However, bashing some versions of the characters are usually an exception for me. But when it comes to Yamcha, I will go through many forms to make him have the best days of his life, fanfiction or otherwise. </p><p> </p><p>I also wanna thank Sky-Kaiser, my good friend helping me out once again in this. And we're really doing an awesome job on the "Time To Shine" fic which we both work on. I recommend everyone give that story a look and share it with many others interested. Thank you all and I hope you all enjoyed this!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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